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Deviant for 4 Years
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A Broken Heart... :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 6 4 SKETCH- TLOZ- Tirona, High Priestess of the Zora :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 6 1 SKETCH- TLOZ- Return Once More :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 4 0
Literature
13 Year Old Depression
I Walk Alone
I Stand Alone.
The cries
The lies
The deep regret.
Being alone
Could never feel so good.
Away from the shouts
The hate
The burning sensation.
You just leave your anger behind you.
When you realize no one cares,
And you can't help but wonder,
"Is there anyone out there?"
Nothing but your echo.
You go for help,
Your ignored.
You call for backup,
Nobody comes.
You cry for love,
You only have your empty soul.
Life is cruel.
Twisted and cruel.
And the people are worse.
Beatings?
Shootings?
Lives lost?
Where do I stand?
I'm none of those.
But I am
Alone.
The worse feeling above all
That you can't help but...
Embrace.
Embrace and hold.
Until you cry out of rage.
That's all it is.
Rage.
Where is the light?
I'm so afraid.
Only in darkness
That shields my fate.
Thanks for nothing.
:iconApocalyptic-Assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin
:iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 1 2
Cancelled :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 12 0 Elastic Heart :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 2 2 JJBA- Vivienna Portrait :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 4 7 Inspirational Thing :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 5 6 JJBA Eyes of Heaven: Character Select: P3 Am. L. :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 14 6 Sketch- JJBA Dio :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 8 10 JJBA- Don't Talk to Me or My Small Wife Ever Again :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 8 4 JJBA- Early Morning Sleepy Time-? :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 7 9 JJBA- What's Up Shortie- :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 8 15 AT- BeeBee :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 5 4 Shattered- Am Doodles :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 4 3 JJBA- Special Day Special Day~ :iconapocalyptic-assassin:Apocalyptic-Assassin 12 2
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ORA ORA!! :iconneronan:Neronan 39 7 It's time for hair setting :iconvok2269:vok2269 91 15 Diamond Is Not Crash :iconthekingofqueens25:thekingofqueens25 90 31 Him and his 'imaginary' friend :iconmaiyeng:maiyeng 361 36 A Stand Will always stay by your side :iconhail-2-u:Hail-2-U 67 18 And now Dogs.... :iconhail-2-u:Hail-2-U 85 17 JOLYNE IS SO NICE :iconaccelerin:Accelerin 184 10 Crimson Flower :iconrealdandy:RealDandy 127 12 Black Lion lounging :iconzillabean:zillabean 661 151 . :iconwatermelonowl:WatermelonOwl 119 7 Pose study 49 :iconkate-fox:Kate-FoX 2,271 47 982 :iconk-szk:k-szk 28 0 983 :iconk-szk:k-szk 36 0 984 :iconk-szk:k-szk 45 0 990 :iconk-szk:k-szk 120 3 Tutorial: Colorful Eyes :iconlighane:Lighane 1,228 73

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I confessed to my crush today my feelings for him. I had to. 
He asked me last night for tips on how to ask one of our friends to prom. I cried myself to sleep last night and then cried this morning when I woke up. 
This was the first guy I've ever had a REALLY big crush on. Like, I totally pictured us working out and dating for a while. He would make me so happy to just talk to and be near and he made me feel amazing. I'm extremely demisexual and romantic, so it's extremely difficult for me to really get a crush on someone, but this boy... He was so different and unique from anyone I've ever met before. 
He just doesn't see me the same way. 
He was super nice about his response. He apologized profusely, and I told him that it was okay, and I was okay staying friends. My friends and mother are being SUPER supportive right now and trying to help me however they can get me through this.
It just hurts so much. 
Like, mentally, I KNOW that I'm going to find someone else and stuff and that y'know, he's not the only guy in the world but like...
There are so many things I like about him. There are so many things we relate to and I felt we connected with. 
I just... I'm not the apple of his eyes I guess. 
My friend who he even was going to ask to the prom admitted to me that she only sees him as a friend but... Idk how to believe that... She wished me good luck and everything but I never got around to asking her if she had feelings for him really...
Like, mentally I know it's all going to be okay. 
It just...
It just hurts. It hurts so so much to have feelings for someone, and then see them asking someone else out and seeing how well they get along with someone else. Picturing him taking her to prom it just...
I told her it was okay. I'm not someone to stop her if she wants to go. I can't control anyone, and even with Magick, it's wrong and inhumane to control another's free will, and I won't try. 
I just... Idk guys.
My friends are being super supportive, but I keep thinking of him and it just... It hurts.
I pictured us so well together. 
I'm an 18 year old experiencing her first real heartbreak. I know it sounds super ridiculous, but I just... I mean, I knew this was coming. My Tarot cards mentioned nothing of romance. They continued to say 'friendship'. But everything still just hurts. 
I'm crying right now on an off again LOL. 
My mother is gonna be home soon and she's actually been super comforting throughout the entire time I had my crush on him, and even now. 
Idk when I'm going to get over this... Thinking of going to prom breaks my heart and my dresses to try on haven't even come in yet so... Idk what's gonna happen.
I just...
How did you guys get over your first heartbreak? When did you meet the true loves of your lives? How long did it take?
I just need some comfort from people who have experienced this sort of stuff right now....

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Apocalyptic-Assassin's Profile Picture
Apocalyptic-Assassin
Amanda
Artist | Student | Traditional Art
United States
ID by the OUTSTANDING :icontofuproductionz:

Am, or Apop I don't mind~
I like to draw things.

Comments


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:iconbuttsensei:
ButtSensei Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Professional Digital Artist
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:iconapocalyptic-assassin:
Apocalyptic-Assassin Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Student Traditional Artist
<3333
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:icondemoniccriminal:
DemonicCriminal Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
"Hey you, your'e a stand user aren't you..."
*stares intensely*:icondemoniccriminal: [Emoticon] Gogo / Menancing SFX [Emoticon] Gogo / Menancing SFX [Emoticon] Gogo / Menancing SFX [Emoticon] Gogo / Menancing SFX 

Tofu made that menacing emoticon and i love it. Too bad he spelled it "menancing"
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:iconapocalyptic-assassin:
Apocalyptic-Assassin Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2017  Student Traditional Artist
Gdi Tofu- 
One job. Tofu had ONE job-
Reply
:icontofuproductionz:
TOFUProductionz Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
HAHAHA I'M AN IDIOT. THANKS FOR CATCHING THAT! I FIXED IT.
Reply
:icondemoniccriminal:
DemonicCriminal Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I noticed when i was searching for it on the list. "Is this not how you spell that? My English is terrible..."
Reply
:icontofuproductionz:
TOFUProductionz Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
AHA....I'M SORRY. MY ENGLISH MUST BE HORRENDOUS CONSIDERING I GREW UP WITH IT. But then again, everyone has better English than Americans HAHAHA
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:icontofuproductionz:
TOFUProductionz Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
APOP I DON'T KNOW STREX'S DEVIANTART OR ANY WAY TO CONTACT HER SO CAN YOU SEND HER REQUEST TO HER FOR ME? 

Strex

THANK YOU!!!
Reply
:iconbuttsensei:
ButtSensei Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
APOP! DO THE 24 COMICS PAGES IN 24 HOURS CHALLENGE WITH ME THIS SATURDAY (MARCH 11, 2017 AT 12 AM CST)!
Reply
:iconapocalyptic-assassin:
Apocalyptic-Assassin Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  Student Traditional Artist
I'M TRYING TO COME UP WITH AN IDEA FOR THE CHALLENGE-
IDK IF I CAN 100% DO IT THOUGH BECAUSE I HAVE A THERAPY APPOINTMENT LIKE RIGHT WHEN YOU START AND THEN I HAVE TO MEET UP WITH MY COVEN TO STUDY WITCH STUFF-
BUT I'LL TRY TO BE THERE IN THE AFTERNOON-!!!
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